|
Mickey Snaketail takes Barry's Goth protege, Moliere, away in the Snaketail Blimp, but Barry finds himself addicted to her taste and smell. He goes through withdrawal at Belverton's Caligula Memorial Psychiatric Center, but his wife — Dr. Wharton-Stone — is scandalized by his betrayal of her with Moliere. While Dr. Wharton-Stone finds comfort in daily support groups that converge on their home, Barry lives in his office at the Belverton University Press. While there, Barry is visited by Belverton University's new Dean of Intercourse, the voluptuous Racine. Racine is also Moliere's mom, and reminds Barry that Moliere's last words to him were: "My mom is kinky! Bang her!" Racine offers Barry an open invitation to "dinner." Barry is tempted to take her up on it if he can do so without Dr. Wharton-Stone's finding out. He confides his quandary to Mike, a fify-five year-old barista and former New York City literary agent. Mike urges Barry to come up with a "fictive work" to tell Dr. Wharton-Stone, proofs the first draft of said fictive work, and sends Barry back to the keyboard, advising him to add more human warmth to the story. Mike is so taken with the movie The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe that he convinces Barry to rewrite his fictive work to include the shelling of Belverton University by the Germans. Barry is astonished at first, then goes along with the plan. Barry returns to the office that afternoon and discovers the entire staff of the Press preparing to watch a presidential news conference. Barry goes to his office, and a little while later receives a call from the Dean of Intercourse, informing him that the President is talking about ... Barry! The President has somehow learned of Barry's attempts to ... conjoin with the Dean of Intercourse, and is not at all pleased with the example he is setting for our nation's youth. Immediately after the press conference ends, two FBI agents appear at Barry's door: the avuncular, male agent Cubby, and the red-haired, hypnotic, female agent Slund. Both try to talk Barry out of his tryst with Racine, and both wear sensible shoes. This is book two of the LumpenBlog! Barry's episodes, in order, are: Women, warmth, and a big, wet mess The Dark Side of Cowboy Gayness |