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After Mickey Snaketail takes the Babecat away in the Snaketail Blimp, Des decides to console himself with rock scholarship. His next door neighbor, Mrs. Liang, has other plans for him, though, and Des finds himself spending a lot of time in a room in her apartment she calls the "Wonderland Ranch." Mrs. Liang's husband (Mr. Liang) walks in on them one day and decides to join them in a three-way, but Des runs out before viril contact is made. A few days later, Mrs. Liang takes refuge in Des's apartment after she and Mr. Liang have a fight over the US Supreme Court. Mr. Liang is quite drunk, and loudly departs the building on his way to Hong Kong. Once Mr. Liang is gone, Des reveals to an email correspondent that Sting and Harry Potter are in fact the same person, and Mrs. Liang reveals to Des that her second-cousin April is looking for someone to make her "feel glad on demand." After an attempt to explain his religion (Gonggonggongolism) to his readers, Des answers his door to discover Mrs. Liang and the aforementioned April. Mrs. Liang and April are depressed by the news that PlayStation 3 has been delayed, so they take Des back to the Wonderland Ranch for a few hours of explosive cavorting. At the end of said cavorts, April proclaims that she is getting ready to take a love slave. Mrs. Liang suspects that April may be about to break the Code — which says that women may not use force for such a purpose — and April storms out of the apartment shouting, "Code schmode!" Later, one of Des's loyal fans asks him to explain what David Bowie means by "total blam-blam" in the song "Suffragette City." — And he does. This is book two of the LumpenBlog! Desmond's episodes, in order, are: |